You know the conversation needs to happen. You've run the numbers, reviewed the org chart, had the hard internal discussions — whether the business has changed around them, the role no longer fits, or the performance conversations have not yielded the results you need. You've done everything a responsible leader is supposed to do before reaching this threshold. And in the hours leading up to the meeting on the calendar, you rehearse what you're going to say, hoping the words land the way you intend and that you're able to honor them and the work they brought to your company.
When you start your business and begin hiring employees, the furthest thing from your mind is what you'll do when it's time to let them go. But the reality is, every employee will be with you for only a season. It's not forever. It may be a bad fit that only lasts a few months, or it may be after years and years of faithful service. No matter how long the track record, it is never an easy decision or an easy conversation.
And the fact that you're a Christian leader adds to the complication. You may have discipled this person and even influenced their faith. Your biggest concern is whether they can separate the unconditional love of Christ from the reality of conditional employment.
Can I let this person go in a God-honoring way?
We understand that "just pray about it" is not quite satisfying advice in times like these. So we interviewed three Christian leaders who have navigated this exact scenario. They share how they've learned to navigate those conversations. This is for leaders who are in this exact situation, or can see it on the horizon, and want to navigate this challenging crossroads with grace and truth.
Christian Rowe: the text he received months later
Christian Rowe served as the Co-Founder & CMO of IMMERSE. He hired a talented content creator to build the direct-to-consumer brand presence. They worked side by side for nearly three years, creating social media, content campaigns, and brand storytelling.
They ran the direct-to-consumer playbook for three years without reaching profitability. Leadership decided the go-to-market plan was flawed and they would pivot to enterprise B2B. For a few months, Christian tried to make it work. He asked the creator to shift away from consumer social content — the thing he was excellent at — toward corporate materials, sales enablement resources, pitch decks, and enterprise case studies. He was hired to do one thing, and he did it well. But when the company changed, Christian had to face the reality that the creator wasn't set up to succeed in the business's new season.
Before the conversation, Christian prayed for his friend and colleague by name. He prayed for his family and for what would come next. He pushed for the most generous severance package the startup could offer.
When it came time to have the conversation, Christian was honest about the situation: this was not a performance failure. The creator had been hired to do the consumer storytelling he was so talented at. He named specifically what they had built together. He was transparent about how hard it was for him personally, too.
Christian doesn't remember every word of the conversation, but he does remember the weight of it. He sensed that how he carried himself mattered as much as what he communicated.
Several months later, he received a text. His former colleague sent a photo: the two of them, his wife, and their three children — all baptized at a new church. He wrote that being let go had been one of the most difficult experiences of his life, and that the combination of that moment and three years of watching Christian's faith shape his leadership had inspired him to seek God.
Not every termination story will end with such a perfect bow on top like Christian's did. He's quick to share, "This is the Holy Spirit's work, not mine." But in Christian's story, we see so clearly what's at stake in how we lead in these hardest moments — what we say about what we believe is embodied in how we lead on easy days and in challenging conversations.
Anthony Alphin: reading the DISC assessment before the meeting
Anthony Alphin spent fifteen-plus years in people management in corporate, nonprofit, and ministry contexts. In one corporate role, he had over 100 termination conversations. He currently serves as the Director of Shared Services at Permanent Equity.
He recalls a time the organization he worked with hired a new employee for brand and creative direction. But as the company restructured under a board mandate, the creative's role shifted overnight to high-level marketing execution — a fundamentally different skill set.
Anthony gave the employee a defined three-month window with clear deliverables, check-ins, and measurable outcomes. Two months in, it was obvious the new role wasn't working for him. There was too wide a gap between his skill set and the role that needed to be filled at the company. The best next step was to let this employee go.
Anthony spent half a day in prayer before making the decision. He also went back to the employee's DISC assessment he'd taken during onboarding to study what he'd need from the conversation based on his communication and processing styles.
Because this employee processed things through feelings, a long debrief would have been the opposite of loving. So Anthony kept the conversation brief and clear: here is the decision, here is why, I'm available for questions, and I'm committing to sit down with you in a month if you'd like.
William Norvell: the text that never got a reply
William Norvell is the Founder of Tektones. Previously, he founded Forte and earned an MBA from Stanford.
He did everything right. The employee was excellent, had built strong relationships, made an impact, and performed well in the job. But the company's direction had shifted, and they no longer needed the role that he served. After much deliberation, they ultimately decided that the employee had to be let go, as the company didn't need his skill set.
William and his co-founder put together a generous severance package, said all the right things, and offered to help find what came next. Months later, William sent a text to check in. But the former employee never responded. They still follow each other on Instagram, and William can see he hasn't found work yet. He wants to help, but can't if he doesn't respond.
People will choose how to carry their experience of being let go. The leader's job is faithfulness in the moment — not control over what comes after.
A common mistake for Christian leaders
Christian leaders commonly fall into one of two categories for how they approach termination conversations. They aim for compassion and end up hedging the message, offering vague affirmations and leaving the employee uncertain about what just happened or why. Or they aim for clarity and come across cold — efficiently delivering the facts and keeping the conversation short.
Both are a miss because the leader is choosing between all grace or all truth. But when leaders follow the example of Jesus, we see him embody both at once: being fully grace and fully truth.
This is not a balancing or a trade-off. The Greek used in this text makes it very clear that Jesus is overflowing with both simultaneously. And this should be the measure for every Christian leader to evaluate their conversations — the good ones and the challenging ones.
So when you are facing a termination, the question is not how much grace to give before you get to the truth. And it's not how to soften the truth with enough grace that it takes the edge off. The question is whether you can be the kind of person who speaks with grace and truth simultaneously. Your truth-telling is an act of grace. Your clarity is a form of care.
Tensions to manage, knowing we cannot resolve them completely
The biblical framework for navigating the termination of an employee relationship emerges as more of a posture than a perfect order of operations. Depending on the unique circumstances, you'll likely face one or more of these tensions.
Honesty vs. compassion. We know from Paul's writing in Ephesians that leaders are called to speak truth.
And Paul's letter to the Colossians calls them to clothe themselves with kindness.
While you don't need to choose one over the other, over-indexing on either one produces a failed conversation. Too much honesty without compassion could be brutal. Too much compassion without honesty could be avoidant. To show up with honesty and compassion, we must tell the full truth, in the right sequence, at the right pace, from a posture of genuine care.
Clarity vs. capacity. When leading a termination conversation, you must balance the need for clarity with the person's capacity to receive it.
You may be technically neither a friend nor an enemy, but in the termination conversation, they'll likely see you as an enemy. It's wise to segment the conversation into two separate meetings. First, simply and with great clarity, tell them their role in the company has come to an end — give them the things they need to know, when their last day is, what their severance package is. Then invite them to a second conversation at a later date to discuss feedback and encouragement.
You have a unique position to have a conversation about their growth that they can use in their next role. But in the first conversation, when they've just learned they're no longer employed, is not the time to deliver this feedback and encouragement. Their minds are racing with how they're going to tell their loved ones and what they need to do next. Your role in this first meeting is to give this person what they can receive, not what assuages your conscience from having to let them go.
Person vs. organization. Like you, every leader in this case study cares for the individual they're letting go. And Scripture is very clear that we are to care for others.
But leaders also carry responsibility for the rest of the team and organization, and Scripture supports that as well.
The people who are still there are watching, and need to trust that the organization is healthy. Navigating the tension of the person and the organization as a whole will be best done prayerfully and on a case-by-case basis. Loving one well does not automatically mean the others are served.
The conversation is decided before it begins
The quality of a termination conversation is almost entirely determined before it begins. The decisions you make in advance will shape your posture and the words you choose. Every leader we spoke with has a version of the same warning: by the time you're in the room, you can do more damage than good if you haven't prepared. Three questions are worth sitting with honestly before you schedule the termination meeting.
The in-the-moment framework, to prepare for the conversation
Here are the five guideposts that emerged, independently, from each of the leaders we spoke with.
You don't get to control the outcome
Leaders cannot avoid termination conversations. They are a natural part of growing a venture. Sometimes you can see them coming a mile away, and other times you're caught by surprise. No matter the runway, we hope that the wisdom you found today helps you approach those conversations with less dread and more ease.
And know that you're not alone. The leaders we interviewed had wisdom to share because they have had these conversations well — and they've also had plenty that went poorly. And even this can be seen through Jesus' lens of grace and truth. We have compassion because we did the best we could with the tools we had at the time. And we can approach those areas for improvement with honesty and a drive to do better next time.